Down Under

It's been two and a half weeks since I stepped off the airplane onto Australian soil. Where did the time go?

Have you heard of Cirque de Soleil? It is a Canadian acrobatic group that performs all over the world. Last week, our whole office went as VIP guests to see them perform in downtown Sydney. It was a jaw-dropping, nerve-wracking, thrilling experience.

As I watched them do flips and practically fly all over the stage, I felt a twinge of jealousy and reminisced on my childhood dreams of becoming an acrobat in the circus. If only I had practiced more on those monkey bars...

My big mouth has already gotten me in trouble. Sort of. When asked *ehem* about some of the beautiful places around Sydney, I happened to mention a few places that I had been on my bike. Now, to all of you non-cyclists, perceived distance and exhaustion on the bike is significantly decreased when you own the right equipment and have had some training in your legs. It didn't take long for a rumor to start going around that I am some super long-distance athlete. Monday morning at work, as I filled up my mug with coffee, my co-worker walked in and announced, "Molly, you are going on a 25km trail run with myself and three other people. You will need snacks, running shoes, a camelback, and possibly a light jacket. Oh, and you will be collected at 5:30am on Saturday morning". I wasn't sure how to respond. "Awesome"?,"You're crazy?","do you wanna repeat that?". Turns out all I could muster was a half-enthused "great!".

After late night at Cirque du Soleil, my alarm clock made the most revolting sound as it woke me up at 4:45am. I promptly made some coffee, scarfed down some oatmeal, and ran out the door for what I knew would be an interesting morning. It wasn't long into our trail run before I felt the urge to take pictures. It was too gorgeous not to at least attempt to catch some of the beauty.

God is amazing isn't he? He also has a sense of humor. Just look at a kangaroos and pelicans (two of my favorite animals).

Work... last week, I went down to Adelaide to visit two of our companies
largest accounts. The purpose of the trip was to gather information for the design of the market research project that I'm doing. One of the most important things I've been learning is not to rely on assumptions. Just because business is a certain way in the US, does not mean that it is the same down here. It is considered very "American" to think that the world revolves around us and everyone operates, or would like too, off of our system. I learned that pretty quickly by accidentally riding my bike on the wrong side of the road...
The preparation for my research project has been an ongoing process since I arrived and seems to be taking a long time. Other than my trip to Adelaide (see photo), I've spent a good bit of time sitting at my desk and in various meetings. At this point, I feel as if I am in the calm before the storm. Over the 4-5 weeks, I will be traveling to a different state in Australia every week to put my project into action. Ah!

To be honest, I am very excited about my work here. My project has the potential to be a total flop or be a catalyst for launch of a new product.

Overall, I am really enjoying it here. The ocean, the hills, the city, the culture... I love it! There is a 5k circuit that several people at the office run every day during lunchtime. Some of the guys try to act like they are not
trying to beat the rest of the group when it's obvious they really are. There's
even a course record (announced, of course, by the course record holder).

work hard, play harder

Thursday was my first day of WORK! Shortly after arriving, I was led through a maze of desks and offices to meet my new co-workers. The office had a lively, cheerful, international flavor about it. One guy was from South Africa, another from Canada, another from China, and so on. Finally, my tour guide ushered me into the break room and proudly introduced me to a grand coffee machine that makes 12 different kinds of coffee. It appears to be a workplace bonding tool.
Besides touring the office and filling out tax forms(etc.), I learned a lot more about my project and what I will be doing during my time here. In preparation for the launch of a new product, my job is to plan and execute a market research project to determine the pricing and position of the new product. I will be working closely with the product manager and the some of the marketing experts in the office. The freedom and flexibility to tailor and design it the project is a little daunting. I've never done marketing research and the last thing I want to do is let down a company that flew me to the other side of the world to work here. However, with great challenges comes great opportunity. Also, my host family have been very welcoming and kind to me.

Saturday, I went to a church called "c3". Ironically, the preacher was a visiting American. He was a funny old man. The church was warm and welcoming- several people introduced themselves to me and one person even gave me her contact info in case I need anything.

After church, I went to a get-together that my host family's extended family was hosting a few blocks away. We had a delicious dinner and I got my first taste of Australian wine.The company wasn't too bad either..

We laughed and joked around the kitchen table about everything from Morgan Freemen to Tasmania. Before I left, the mom of the family gave me a few classic Aussie books to read. I can't wait to dive into them.

Sunday, I was planning on doing a race that my new friend Elliot told me about. Kind of last minute, I bailed and decided to do a long, easy ride instead. I dont know, I just had a gut feeling that it wasn't going to be a good race and I'm glad I didn't cause I was a little stiff that day. I ended up doing a 4.5 hour ride through a national forest nearby. The views were so beautiful that I felt as if I was obliged to stop every 2 minutes to snap another picture.

You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!
~Psalm 38:35

Job 38:2-7
Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

First day in Sydney, Australia

Today was my first full day in Sydney, Australia. I woke up around 7:30, skyped with my roommates, and promptly made a delicious cup of coffee to sip while putting my bike together. I also turned on the news while putting my bike together and was surprised by how much the newscasters talked about America(and people wonder why we are so obsessed with ourselves...).

For the next 5 hours, I explored on my bike. About halfway through my ride, I ran into another cyclist who caught me taking pictures and offered to show me some cool places.

P.S. The pictures will expand if you click on them

Tomorrow I start work!

Colorado Springs Olympic Training Center

A lot of people have asked how camp out at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs went so I decided to write about it. Before I go on let me just say how grateful and thankful I am to have had this opportunity. Getting the chance to go to the Olympic Training Center made me feel like a little kid on Christmas morning. There was SO much to see, so much to learn, and so many incredible people to meet. Two of my outstanding Pain Pathways teammates, Nina Laughlin and Lauren Komanski, went as well. Both are super strong athletes and represented Pain Pathways like Usain Bolt reppin' Jamaica. I digress.

You are probably wondering what this camp is all about. Here is the purpose, according to USA Cycling:

“to identify athletes that would potentially benefit from USA Cycling Women’s Endurance Program. This camp is focused on athletes that are not currently involved in our program and have shown growth and interest in their cycling performances. The primary objective of USA Cycling’s Women’s Endurance program is the growth of American female cyclists in becoming world class cyclist. The goal of the camp is to identify athletes that have future goals of competing with the USA Cycling Women’s Program. The camp will also focus on educating the athlete’s on certain aspects of cycling as well as provide information about USA Cycling Women’s Endurance Program”.

Day 1: Myself, along with 12 other cyclists, arrived at the Olympic Training Center on Wednesday afternoon. We were given a map of the training center and each assigned a dorm-style room with two other cyclists from the camp. Besides being plain and boring, our rooms each featured a small refrigerator, sink, and TV. The next activity was dinner. The dining hall was pretty similar to a university cafeteria- a salad bar, cereal, cooked food, and deserts. The only difference was that almost everything- especially desert- had the nutrition information next to it(ice cream isn’t as much fun to eat when you know exactly how many calories you are consuming). There was also a “recovery station” with high-protein foods, soy milk, smoothies, and chocolate milk. The other significant feature of the dining hall was the TV’s. Everywhere I turned, there was a TV with some sort of Olympic competition playing. I have never felt so surrounded by the Olympics. No wonder America wins so many medals- the athletes literally eat, sleep, and breathe the Olympics. Just in case you were wondering, there were several other resident athletes who were either preparing for the upcoming Paralympics or training for the 2016 games.
That evening, we met our coaches for the week- Renee Eastman(www.trainright.com/tag/renee-eastman), Ainslie MacEachran(www.geminitrainingsystems.com), Katie Compton(www.fuckyeahkatiecompton.com), and guest-rider/coach Alison Dunlap(www.alisondunlap.com). ALL amazing people and athletes. We were given a run-down for the week of our schedule, rules, goals, and, of course, the time-trial that we would be doing in 36 hours.

Day 2: Our first full day of camp began with a short breakfast and a bike ride starting at 8am. The air was crisp and a little bit chilly as we made our way out to Cheyenne Canyon where we would be doing our time trial the next day. We chatted on our way out there and got a chance to “preview” our time trial course which happened to be a 3.1 mile climb up the mountain. When we reached the end of our climb, we were left with two options: go down an unpaved road that took us over to the other side of the mountain, or descend the same way we came. We had pro mountain bikers Katie Compton and Alison Dunlap with us. Need I say more? I’m sure that we were quite a site as we went flying down the side of the mountain on our skinny little wheels. Most of us made it without crashing. As we rounded the corners, we were rewarded with a breathtaking view of Colorado Springs. It was gorgeous. We then rode to one-way streets through “Garden of the Gods” to work on our descending skills. It was an ideal location and we divided into groups so that we could get more individual instruction.
After a long and satisfying lunch, we attended a session by USADA about doping and the different drugs that athletes are not allowed to take. I was surprised by all the clever ways that athletes have tried to hide the fact that they take drugs. Needless to say, we were all sufficiently motivated to avoid drugs before, and after, attending the session. By 2pm, we were all back on our bikes and rode to a park to work on bottle feeding, crashing skills, bumping each other, and bunny hopping objects in the road. Katie Donovan, Nina, and I all hopped in the training center’s ice pool for 15 minutes of excruciating-and-then-numbing cold. Coincidentally, it started raining as we biked back to our dorms. I’m pretty sure that my lips turned a solid blue. Was it worth it? Totally. Ice baths work magic on my legs.
That evening had a roundtable discussion with Alison Dunlap and Katie Compton about training and racing on a professional level.

Day 3: Similar to day 2, we were on our bikes by 8am and heading toward Cheyenne Canyon for our time trial. Once we got there, we were given about 20 minutes to warm up. As I rode my bike around, I spotted a huge(by South Carolina standards) deer. I rode up to it, expecting it to run away, but was surprised to find that it just stayed there and looked me right in the eye as if to say, “this is just as much my place as it is yours”. After warming up, we went off in 30 second intervals and rode 1 mile up the mountain for our first time trial. Our second time trial was the full 3.1 miles up the mountain. The first 5 minutes were absolutely excruciating. My lungs felt like they were the size of a pea as I gasped for air and struggled to maintain a satisfactory speed. It wasn't long until I reached a point where I literally thought they were going to have to scrape me up off the side of the road. It was then that Psalm 23 popped into my head. It played itself over and over in my head struggled with each rotation of the pedal and reminded me that my self-worth is in Christ-alone. I don't need to prove anything because He has redeemed me and bought me with His blood. The pressure that I so often put on myself to perform was lifted and it made it so much easier to pour every ounce of effort into reaching the top of the mountain. The USA Cycling van parked at the top of the mountain with icy water, Gatorade, and chewy bars was a sight for sore eyes! Water never tasted so good.
That afternoon, we rode east towards the countryside to practice pace lines, echelons, and the Australian pursuit. We were divided into teams of four and sent off at different times to chase each other down. The combination of the wind on our backs, rolling hills, and teamwork made for a fast and thrilling ride.
This time it was Caroline, Nina, and I in the ice pool. I was slightly more prepared for the cold and was glad for the company. I’m pretty sure everyone else thought we were crazy, but once again, it was worth it! My legs felt so much better afterwards.
After dinner, we convened for a session on nutrition, hydration, and race tactics. Renee Eastman told us that we should be drinking at least 1-2 water bottles every hour and consuming at least 250 calories per hour. Wow! She also said that some people can sweat up to 5,000 mg of sodium per hour. If you sweat a lot, it’s a good idea to get as much sodium in during your rides as possible. Ainslie MacEachran talked about race tactics and identified two types of racers- offensive and defensive. Offensive racers “make” the race and defensive racers “follow” the race. He encouraged us to be aggressive and learn how to take chances in our races. He also coached us on what types of breakaways are more likely to succeed than others based on the teams that are represented in the breakaway and the strength of the riders.

Day 4: Saturday morning, we were back on our bikes by 8am, this time for a long ride to practice receiving feeds from the car. We rode east out towards the countryside with rolling hills, huge fields, and maybe a house every couple of miles. The difference between the mountains and countryside east was night and day. At one point, a mist shrouded the mountains and it felt like we were in Nebraska or Kansas. Practicing getting feeds from the car was a lot of fun. We would drop back, hand our empty water bottles to Ainslie, and as we gripped the new water bottles, he would press the accelerator and propel us back into the group. The coaches decided to extend our ride by about 15 or 20 miles so the ride ended up being about 85 miles total, which gave us plenty of time to go fast, relatively slow, and talk to each other as we took turns on the front. The ride kicked my butt. Seriously. My legs felt like they were filled with lead by the time we got back. Thank God for endorphins!
That afternoon, we had individual meetings with the coaches about our goals, strengths, weaknesses, and the camp. It was a good chance to reflect and look towards our future as cyclists. It was encouraging, challenging, and exciting to talk about some of the opportunities that are out there. Later in the day, Renee demonstrated the proper way to wash a bike and showed us a few ways to keep our bike in top condition. That night, we had a short “camp wrap-up” session and just hung out with each other. It was fun and sad at the same time. A few of the girls left that night while rest of us packed up to leave the next morning.

Day 5: A majority of the cyclists left early Sunday morning. Nina Laughlin and I had later flights so we went on a recovery ride with Renee, Katie, her husband Mark, and another cyclist named Caroline. The took us on a cool ride through Colorado Springs and out to Manitou Springs. Riding bikes is one of the best ways to explore new places!
Leaving the Olympic Training Center was hard. The time went by so fast and there was still so much to do, see, and learn.
Getting through security at the Colorado Springs Airport was a nightmare. It all started when I took my bike bag up to check it and the lady asked, “is this a bike?”. I answered, “it’s exercise equipment”. She then proceeded to pull out her measuring tape and stretch the bag out as much as possible so that she could charge me for “oversized luggage”- a solid $200! Oh helllll no. I was upset. After all, I only paid $25 to get there thanks to the staff at the GSP airport. So I told her it was a bike(which is a flat $150 fee). She was obviously peeved that she couldn’t charge me the full 200 and asked me point blank why I told her it was exercise equipment. I just looked at her incredulously and answered, “because it IS!”. I was tired, frustrated, and about to blow a fuse. Afterwards, I kinda felt bad for being such a smart ass. She probably deals with people like that all the time. Nina had an even more frustrating experience with a lady who thought she ruled the airport.

Well, there you have it! The experience was unforgettable and I will miss everyone that I met there. I am so thankful for the opportunity and hope that I have the chance to pass on what I’ve learned to others new to cycling. Thanks for reading!

A huge thanks goes out to Renee Eastman, Ainslie MacEachran, Katie Compton, Alison Dunlap, and, of course, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

The summer before Australia

Let the countdown begin!

36 days until I board a plane for Sydney, Australia. Am I excited? Yes. Am I ready? No, not really. This summer has been full of ups and downs. In addition to working for the SC Dept of Agriculture, I've been racing nearly every weekend with a team called Pain Pathways(http://www.cmwomensracing.com/.

My first weekend of racing was in Charleston with my Clemson teammates Rob and Edward. Somehow all three of us managed to crash during Saturday's race. Besides a few road rashes and bruises, we were fine. I am sure that we made quite the impression when we showed up for Sunday's race with what appeared to be matching bandages and wounds.

The second weekend of racing was Brick City Criterium in North Carolina. The race was an epic FAIL. My bike and body failed me. Fortunately the weekend was not lost because Charity and I had the chance to squeeze in a visit with Elise in nearby Raleigh, NC. I love hanging out with my sisters.

The third weekend was near Johnson City, Tennessee. The name of this race is called "Roan Groan". Any guess as to why? The road race started out in Elizabethtown and finished with a 10 mile "hors categorie" climb up Roan Mountain. "Hors categorie"is a French cycling term to describe a climb that it is so tough that it is beyond categorization. Thus we, quite literally, groaned our way all the way up Roan Mountain. After the race, I spent the evening/weekend with some friends in a mountain house near Mars Hill, NC. The scenery and fun times that we had are beyond explanation so I am not going to try.

The fourth weekend was the SC state championship road race in Fork Shoals, SC. This race was particularly fun because Pain Pathways absolutely demolished the field. How? Lynn, Hannah, Marianne, Thea, Deb, myself, and Arden worked together to take four of the top six places in the race. Personally, I don't have much experience working with a team so it was cool to see everything come together so well. As for my part, I just did what my teammates told me to do and pedaled hard.

The fifth weekend of racing was back down in Charleston, SC for the SC state championship time trial. The course was a gorgeous out and back 22 mile ride through the swamplands of Charleston. This race was the first time trial that I actually enjoyed. The clock can be a nasty competitor and it hasn't always been my best friend... especially during my many years of running track and xc. When I switched to cycling, I was excited about the chance to forget the clock and just race. Hence the reason why I avoided time trials at all costs. This particular time trial was a bit of revival for me because it gave me a new appreciation for the mental resolve that it takes to dig deep within yourself for a solid 22 miles without any let up. The race was rewarding and just the confidence boost that I needed. I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with my good friends Julia and Travis.

The seventh weekend of racing was not really a weekend. I raced the U23/Elite Nationals time trial in Augusta, GA, on a Thursday. This was probably my most "interesting" race. Forty five minutes prior to my start time, I pedaled down to the USA Cycling booth to get my time trial bike check to make sure that it met certain guidelines that apply to national championship time trials. The initial inspection by the officials led me to believe that my bike would meet the necessary criteria with few minor altercations that could be done by the site mechanic. Forty-five minutes later, they concluded that the bike was not going to meet qualifications without sawing off a portion of the handlebars. As frustrated as I was, I could not blame the situation on anyone but myself. It is the riders job to make sure the bike is good to go... prior to race day. Ehem. Anyways. The USA Cycling mechanics gave me one of their USA Cycling road bikes to ride as a replacement along with a new start time next to none other than the top cyclists in the country. Boy oh boy. I looked about as clumsy and non-aerodynamic as a tractor next to a bunch of race cars(yes, I did just use an agricultural analogy). Of course, the announcer got a kick out of the whole thing and decided to call everyone's attention to my situation as I rolled down the starting ramp. Needless to say, my race time was not great and I did not even place in the top 5.

The eighth weekend was the St. Francis Summer Series race at the BMW Performance Center. It was easy and fun. I also rode to Caesars Head with my teammate Arden and a few other people on Saturday. It was BEAUTIFUL.



The ninth weekend was in Kennasaw, GA for the Georgia State Games Championship. I travelled and stayed with my teammate Arden(and her family) at her best friend from high-school’s house. We were both a bundle of nerves before the race because the temperature was in the high 90’s and the humidity was almost suffocating. Beads of sweat were forming on my legs only seconds after hopping on the bike.

This race was particularly interesting because we were racing against different teams than we were used too. One minute we would be coasting along, and the next, someone would be “attacking” (aka sprinting) during a flat section of the race.The racing strategies didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me because it’s easy for the main group to catch you if you attack on a flat stretch. Who knows. In the end, it was my own stupidity that won out because I started my sprint for the finish line and lost all steam just a short 10 meters out from the finish. My legs felt like they were filling up with lead and I experienced a sinking feeling within me as I watched my competition fly past me at the last minute. I came in a disappointing 7th. Shortly after the race, I heard one of my competitors brag about beating me in the final sprint. Whoa boy, that lit a fire inside of me. Needless to say, I did better in the criterium the next day by coming in 2nd after my teammate, Arden, who took 1st.

The tenth weekend was in Asheville, NC. This was the legendary French Broad Classic. The race is legendary for two reasons. One, cyclists have been flocking to this race from around the south east for decades.

Two, the road race has over 5,000 ft of climbing and cyclists just love to experience pain. This year's race attracted more pros than ever before. As a result, it was fast, fun, and furious. In addition to racing, I spent time with my aunt, granddad, and my cousin and her friend Maria. I really enjoyed talking and hanging out with them- especially since I will not get to see them again before I leave for Australia. I will miss them.

"Though the fig tree may not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines;
though the labor of the olive may fall,
and the fields yield no food;
though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer's feet,
and he will make me walk on my high hills"

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Y'allstate

"Around here, its Y'allstate". The above sentence is Allstate insurance's effort to market themselves to people who driving through downtown Columbia, SC. South Carolinians have pride in who they are and where they came from. A marketing campaign that would work in Boston or New York, would almost certainly never work down here. Why am I telling you all this? This summer I have been immersed in marketing, South Carolina culture, and the sweltering humidity and heat that comes with it. More specifically, I've been interning with the South Carolina Department of Agriculture, taking summer classes, and racing throughout SC, GA, and NC. The following is a short synopsis of some of the things that I have been working on and have gotten to do so far. [The picture below was taken a few days ago when we filmed a commercial for the State Farmer's market]

Since my start date of May 24th, I have been learning about GAP certification, Farm to School, and the different facets of the department of agriculture. My first day in “the field” was going with regional coordinator Weatherly Thomas to check six Lexington County school gardens and distribute over two thousand Collard seeds to students and faculty. I also went to the State Farmer’s market to help Weatherly film a promotional piece about the market. It was a great opportunity to learn about the distributors and the GAP requirements that apply. Not all of the operations managers were willing to be in the video. The ones that were, however, had many great things to say about the SC Department of Agriculture and the market.

I've spent a lot of working on promotional material for the Farm to School program. One of them is a compilation of Certified SC farms that offer tours that will serve as a resource for school teachers. The brochure and webpage also include state parks and museums that pertain to agriculture. The second piece that I am working on is a brochure that highlights a farm from Berkeley County named Hickory Bluff that has had success with the GAP certification and selling to schools. Some of my time working on the brochures has been spent in the office and some of my time has been spent at home. I have enjoyed working with my fellow intern, Susan, in the office that we share. We have a lot in common and work well together.

So far, I've attended three meetings; the SC Food Safety Council meeting, the New and Beginning Farmers graduation, and the Farm to School Staff meeting. The SC Food Safety Council meeting consisted of about 45-50 representatives from corporations, government agencies, and schools. As soon as the meeting started, the meeting facilitator announced that we were all going to introduce ourselves. I must say, I was a little surprised. I was even more surprised when her eyes scanned the room and she picked me to be the first to explain who I was and what I was doing there. We saw a presentation by a food scientist from Clemson University, the School Food Safety director, and several others. The presentation by the School Food Safety director opened my eyes to the extensive coordination and precaution that goes into daily making sure that thousands of kids don’t get sick. After the meeting, I met several people from the Bi-Lo food safety group, USDA Aphis, DHEC, SCDA, and the Dept. of Education. It was interesting to me how each person had a different perspective on the our food system and how it operates.

To be totally honest...

I am a little spoiled. Actually, let me rephrase that, I am very spoiled. Since the end of my freshman year, school has been a breeze. This is not to say that I didn’t have to study hard, quite the contrary! I am a perfectionist when it comes to grades. From day 1 of my classes, I am usually on top of everything, know exactly what is going on, and have the ability to study for my exams weeks in advance. I am the kind of person who strategically has a final exam meltdown the week before finals so that I can focus during exam week. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “this doesn’t sound realistic in the least bit!” I know, and it’s not. Throughout my college career, I've manipulated my schedule, habits, and social life to accommodate my academic goals while maintaining my sanity and health. For starters, I have always had a great schedule because of priority class-registration privileges (student-athlete/honors college). One of the advantages of early registration is the ability to pick the kind of teachers who want to make you successful(based on online ratings). On top of that, I've had private tutors through the athletic department, spent more football game’s studying than I'd like to admit, foregone parties, and taken homework with me to the beech, track meets, and other trips. Yeah, I know. I sound like a total nerd. I guess I kind of am. The nice thing about making good grades is that it can lead to scholarships that pay a lot more than I would be able to make if I had a job. I guess that’s kind of how I approach school. It’s a job, and the better I do, the more successful I will be.

I have been able to maintain my perfectionistic approach to school up until about two weeks ago when I realized that a) I had no idea what was going on in my classes and b) I somehow landed in four classes in which I did not have the pre-requisites for. Go figure. I can still remember the day when the realization hit me like a freight-train. How was I supposed to teach myself all of the pre-requisite material so that I could understand the material in my current classes? Well, needless to say, I freaked. To make matters worse, I couldn’t switch or drop any of my classes. To do so would mean that I would have to pay over $2,000 to take summer classes. Ehem. Not gonna happen. Gradually, a realization began to dawn on me. This isn’t an unusual situation. This isn’t a major screw-up. This isn’t even something worth freaking out about. This is life. And I am spoiled. Life is not something that I can constantly control. It isn’t something that I can always plan and expect the perfect outcome. All I have is the breath that I am breathing during this very moment. I can plan to our hearts content, but the Lord is the one who decides the outcome; “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9)

Why do I get so upset when things don’t go exactly as I have planned? I am twenty years old and should certainly know better by now. I guess sometimes it is easy to forget that the future is not in my hands. Every time I get a perfect grade or do well in a race, I have an overwhelming desire to give myself the glory. Something deep inside of me says, “this. This is exactly what you have worked for. This is exactly what you have earned. There is nothing you can’t do or plan for”. When I turn to scripture and ultimately, the face of God, I realize that I am completely and utterly wrong. I might as well have blindfolded myself and told myself that I was president of the United States. I didn’t create myself. I didn’t choose parents who would send me to college. I didn’t choose a time period in which I would even have the opportunity to earn a grade in school. Most importantly, I didn’t choose to be loved by the Creator of the universe.

Wow.

Even as I write this, I am being overcome my emotion. I am so undeserving. My pride and self-centeredness is about as far off as Obama is from conservatism. Just kidding, it’s a lot farther. Maybe the Grand Canyon would be a better analogy. Or how about Osama bin Laden from Santa Clause? You get the picture.

‘For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8,9)